Section 1: Major Galactic Events!
Section 2: In Depth Planetary Coverage!
Section 3: Battle Stadium Insider Reports!
Section 4: Entertainment Special: 'Adventures of a Cable Salesman'!
Section 5: Exclusive Interviews!
Section 6: The Best in the Biz: Check These Guys Out!

Major Galactic Events!
- There is a tournament coming up involving warriors from all over the universe! The matches have been scheduled, and now many excited fans of mass violence and carnage are purchasing their tickets to the special event! It has been many years since we've had so many powerful warriors gathered in a single location, this is certainly an event for the century! if you miss it, you may as well be dead!

In Depth Planetary Coverage!
Space: Unfortunatly, there is no news to report. Space is big, black, cold, and apparently very empty at the moment.

Earth: Looks like earth has the greatest amount of activity out of any planet! There are warriors all over spending their time learning new techniques, developing their powers, pestering old cats, and even relaxing with a good ol' fishing trip!

Namek: On Namek, we have, amazingly, a namekian doing some training and learning how to control his Ki energy. It seems that a saiyan has also crash landed on the planet, and he nearly died from the crash.

Vegeta: It seems that our local news correspondant was eatin, so we do not have any news to report this week.

Konat: There is a lone warrior on Konat it seems, and it seems he has been working hard on developing techniques, as well as seeming to be reliving the past events of his life, perhaps in an effort to get stronger by learning from his past?

Icer: Mostly a bunch of training going on here. The demon hachi has been doing some serious training, and it looks like the big pink Dodoria, the narsasistic Zarbon, and the insanely brutally evil changeling Frieza have been working on developing their powers as well. Perhaps the growing powers of evil on Icer will pose a threat to all that is good and just in the universe in the future?

Yardratt: Apparently, these is a massively helpful technique that the local inhabitants are willing to teach to those that come to their planet. Sadly, no one has come to visit them yet

Battle Stadium Insider Reports!
- Clash of the Titans: The swordsman Kensei was just hanging out, doing his thing, when out of no where a FREAKIN' ZOMBIE grabs his leg and tries to take out his nuts! This fight seems to be getting intense, and with a third fighter showing up, anything could happen!

- who wants a fight?: There happens to be a man, standing in a desert, all by himself, itching for a fight. Shame there is no one to- oh wait! is that an opponent! Oh, no, nevermind, it was just a particularly aggressive looking tumble weed...

Entertainment Special: 'Adventures of a Cable Salesman'!
So there I was, setting someone up with a double play for the internet and tv services when a GIANT space zombie from space came running down the isle at me. With only my James Bond like wit and Cat like reflexes to aid me, I quickly mentioned to the woman on the phone that she could save a TREMENDOUS amount of money by installing our home phone for only a dollar more, because her twelve year old daughter would be able to use the home phone, with our fantasticly wonderful unlimited calling instead of burning through all her cell phone minutes. As the woman sat on the other line, silently in awe as the dollar signs danced blissfully through her mind, I quickly rolled up the magazine I had brought to work with me today and smacked the oversized space creature akin to a master disciplining a dog. The zombie whined and ran away, and the woman agreed. And so another successful sale and upgrade was secured

Exclusive Interviews!
Unfortunatly, we were unable to locate anyone awesome enough to do an interview for us, but if you are interested, by all means send our wonderfully amazing, sexy, witty, and charming editor/publisher a 'private' message, and we'll see if we can get you squeezed into our tight schedule.

The Best in the Biz: Check These Guys Out!
Want to be recognized as 'The Best in the Biz'? Want to be an exclusive sponser of the universe's greatest news publication? Want to get your business's name out there? Or do you simply have a message that you would like spread to every living soul in the universe ever? Well, let our wonderfully amazing, sexy, witty, and charming editor/publisher know, and for a minimal fee, you can be included in every publication of 'The Spiral Donut' in your very own exclusive section! How groovy is that?